Real Talk
Among all of the themes related to health, wellness and spiritual awareness, there is one thread that runs through all – lifestyle change. The agreement is that anyone can do something for a specific time period; however, when one’s lifestyle focus changes it is likely to be stable.
Wikipedia defines lifestyle as the interests, opinions, behaviors, and behavioral orientations of an individual, group, or culture.
The lifestyle that we live holds important truths about who we are. It reflects our attitudes, preferences and outlooks. As well as some demographic factors – as in where we were born and raised. How mindful are we about this basic foundation of self and the cultural symbols that become a part of our personal identity? Do we create it or does it create us? The lines between personal identity and the everyday doings that signal a particular lifestyle can become blurred in our technical society. The roles we play and the long “to do” lists spread out before us can lead to emotional and physical burnout!
Why is it that we have the tendency to see worth externally as in things, sometimes above worth internally as in the beings that we are? Here’s how this statement rang true for me recently one Friday morning:
I took some me time that seemed to take forever, doing hair, nails and feet. So much energy, not to mention the aches and pains of this mature body reaching and bending to complete each task. So, I’m like straining and feeling overwhelmed by having to take all of this time – I had so any things on my list to do. Then it hit me – girl – you complaining and regretting taking care of yourself, are you for real!? Are you saying that “you” are not worth spending time on, like all of the other things you spend time on???
I realized what a terrible thing I was doing to me, I was unconsciously hurting myself. Here I am preparing to do good for others and was ready to leave out the good on me! OMG no way!! This simple reminder was a blessing for me.
This occurrence was a reminder for me to continually do what I share with women in many of my workshops, talks, books, and blogs – love thyself. Of course, I have come up many levels in self-esteem from years ago. However, you and I have to make sure we kill the root of little self-care – so it won’t keep pushing up in new forms in our lives. We have to know what the boundaries are, how to attack, what to throw at the fire. Two books come to mind: Girl Stop Crying, Dry Your Face and Girl Stop Apologizing, both written by Rachal Hollis, are good sources for reading up on solutions, along with “Black Woman Redefined” by Sophia A. Nelson.
Here’s something you and I can do right now: Be mindful about our lifestyles. What are the core values that we hold and how will we build “mind tools” to keep honoring who we are? None of us can afford to secretly under-mind ourselves ever! Bad self-talk and a bad self-imagine are counterfeit evil demonic spirits that seek to steal the God essence of self. Isn’t this why some of us get ourselves together (body, mind, spirit) and others continue the bad habits (denial, pity, fear) and just stay miserable? How the heck can women be so powerful in the lives of others, without doing good for the one someone that we should incredibly love and intimately know – self?!?
There are so many aspects that play a role in shaping our lifestyle—our views on politics, religion, health, intimacy, economics, careers and so on. Bottom line, it should not be easier to be good on the outside to others (in service, gifts or talents) than it is to be good on the inside to self. We are all a work in progress, so let’s walk it out together. Featured book: The Walk of Faith, Triumph in Troubled Times, Gayle Smith – Amazon.
